Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
