GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
