...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
