Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
