he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
