so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
