mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize