I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize