I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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