marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
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