Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize