I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
