I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
