He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
cat food counts as protein by the way
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
