I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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