her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
