Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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