i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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