What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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