I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
