I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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