Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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