her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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