I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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