I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
