Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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