we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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