dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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