dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
