I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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