you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
