I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
