You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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