Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize