we're blogging at a bar
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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