Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
