I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
