let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
