dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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