She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
