I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
