Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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