some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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