I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
