I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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