dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
How naked do you want me to be?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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