What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
