You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
