I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
