would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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