Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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