you guys were way drunker than both of me
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
