he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
