she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize