I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
