Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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