Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
