Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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