he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
