dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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