Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
