Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
My feet surprised me
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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