I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize