Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
