Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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